yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
