you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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