Heybabeimwearingurpanties
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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