I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
