The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
