I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
