32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
