I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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