I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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