A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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