o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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