I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She told me I should be a condom model.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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