You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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