great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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