didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pappa wants mamma naked
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
