I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
