remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize