the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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