it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
