Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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