so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
