Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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