airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
