dude i'm inner monologue high
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
