apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize