You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
