I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
