Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
