Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
