wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
