My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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