Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
