My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize