Your tits are I can't wait for
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
