they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
