so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
