I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
