Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
