if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just cropdusted the office
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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