I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
