Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize