how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
