Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
