I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize