Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
In America we eat man semen.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
