I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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