I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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