I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
