It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize