Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
