I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
high people should be assigned attendants
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
