question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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