sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
