Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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