i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
