Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
