She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
