Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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