How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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