I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
