I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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