Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize