that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
