If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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